'Time Shift'

Yesterday in P7 the language task focussed on the use of adjectives, similes and creative language. We were focussing on incorporating these in a piece of writing that would 'unlock the reader's imagination'.
We read a piece from the opening of 'Tom's Midnight Garden' where the boy goes to investigate an old clock that he hears chime thirteen, only to find himself back in a bygone era.
For our task we stole the idea of the clock and wrote the introduction to our own stories, taking particular care with our creative language.
We wrote our work using Pages on our iPad which was great as we could check our spelling and re-draft as we went.
Every few minutes we reviewed our writing and peer assessed each others work.

Was the reader's imagination unlocked? You tell us...

Here are some results:



Time shift

I woke up suddenly, I felt the frozen breeze from the open window. At that moment I heard the deep chime of the grandfather cloak striking 13. That's odd I thought, I got up and went
down the stairs and there was a diabolical smell like a untreated toilet, I looked out of the window , the land was covered in jet black smoke-like fog. And something seemed different a bit creepy. All the houses were strangely sort of old, like something that had come from a hundred years ago people like shadows in black atmosphere. The street was lit with old fashioned gas lamps that twinkled like fireflies.

The floor in the kitchen was wooden and icy on my feet. But the most spectacular thing was that the grandfather clock was no longer old and dust-covered or had wood rot in places, it was truly grand and shone like the moon outside which was barely visible through the terrible thick, smog, which was like oil in the clouds.

The horrid smell was coming from the road which was covered in filth and muck which made my stomach churn violently.

The garden too had changed. It had a big oak tree in middle with enormous iron gates at the end of a finely cut grass lawn with spectacular flower beds on ether side. Before it had been a mud covered place with boring concrete walls and dispense.

I was sure that I was having a weird dream. I kept rapidly blinking to try and and wake up.

Sent from Lyle's iPad.







Time Shift

I woke up as the old dusty grandfather clock struck thirteen with a frightening clang. I sat up straight in my bed and switched on my little camping light,as it suddenly refilled my bedroom with light and colour. I got up to get some water.

I quietly sneaked down the hall into the kitchen but stopped, dead on the cold,hard,wooden floor.There was something weird about the view from the window,and so suddenly I noticed that the yard had,had transformed!

As I stared out into the magnificent, moonlit night I thought I could see angels, hovering in the heavenly garden.Could it resemble Eden?it wasn't like this before,it a filthy,overgrown wreck!Was I dreaming? was I going mad? god knows.

Stunned, I hesitantly stepped barefooted into the moonlit wonder.The smell of freshly mowed grass,the nectar and dew from the flower beds and the sharp,strong smell of little pines assailed my nostrils.

"Amazing,"I said, as I caught by breath. My voice carried across the soft cool breath of the night."Amazing," I said again.I felt tired all of a sudden.I collapsed into the soft,fresh grass, and fell sound asleep.

Sent from Mete's iPad.




Time Shift

I lay still, wide awake on my bed. The exciting events of the day flew round and round in my mind like newly woken butterflies. Dad had returned home with a new grandfather clock about the same time as a letter had arrived from Uncle James telling me he was coming over from America to stay with us in the October break.

Then, just as the thoughts in my head grew slow and sleepy I heard the grandfather clock strike in the hall downstairs. One, two, three... ten, eleven, twelve... thirteen?
Thirteen?
In an instant all thought of sleep was gone and I was caught in a strange fascination that seemed to come from nowhere and caused my heart to beat faster.
I crept downstairs to investigate. One foot at a time, making sure I avoided the creaks in the stairs. Then I stepped slowly onto the hard cold floor I looked out into the garden and I got the fright of my life.
Instead of a small postage stamp of muddy green there was a beautiful long ribbon of grass which disappeared lazily into the distance like an emerald river waiting to be explored. Nearby there was a magnificent stone archway with dozens and dozens of red roses climbing up it like an army of scarlet soldiers. Beside the archway was a small path which wound it's way to a big flowerbed filled with purple heather.
I stood in awe questions immediately filled my mind. What had happened to my garden? How could it be that in it's place I had a garden which was fit enough for Queen Elizabeth herself!
Dazed, I turned around to go back into the house and I saw a maid come out of one of the rooms it was the room we usually use for visitors. She was dressed all in black apart from a white apron round her waist and a small cap on her head she was carrying a little baby dressed in a white frock. It looked as delicate as a spider's web.
I walked over to her and in a voice gruff with amazement asked her where I was. She replied, "Well it's Master John's house of course".
"Who's Master John",I asked.
She gasped "Only the most important man in London!". " He's a member of Queen Victoria's Parliament !
"Queen Victoria! What?" I stuttered.


Sent from Aimee's iPad.


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